woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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