Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
