I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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