I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My dick has a subreddit
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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