Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
