with your own penis?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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