I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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