Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
