oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
