so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
