11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
