He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
