today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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