Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
