dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
