Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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