Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Enjoy the penises
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
