and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
