i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
