wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
