My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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