don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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