we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
