Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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