So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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