I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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