girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
