i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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