she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
