just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
