Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
