Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
