I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
