You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you would pick up someone in the library
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
