Already got asked if we're dating
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
