the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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