I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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