Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
