He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
