I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
