I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and she was petting her beer can
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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