Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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