I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
