doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
