He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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