some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
