talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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