he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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