he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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