i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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