guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
