There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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