drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
PANTIES FOUND
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize