Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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