We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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