oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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