eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Say something about gay babies.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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