Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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