He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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