what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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