She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
